All posts by selfcarehaven

Shahida Arabi is a summa cum laude graduate of Columbia University graduate school and a four-time bestselling author. Her bestselling books include The Smart Girl's Guide to Self-Care and Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself, featured as a a #1 Amazon Bestseller for 16 consecutive months after its release, and POWER: Surviving and Thriving, featured as a #1 Amazon Bestseller in Applied Psychology. Her writing has been featured on Salon, Psych Central, The Huffington Post, The National Domestic Violence Hotline, MOGUL, Yoganonymous, Elephant Journal, Dollhouse Magazine, The West 4th Street Review, Thought Catalog, the Feministing Community blog, and Harvard-trained psychologist Dr. Monica O'Neal's website. Her interests include psychology, sociology, education, gender studies and mental health advocacy. She studied English Literature and Psychology as an undergraduate student at NYU, where she graduated summa cum laude and was President of its National Organization for Women (NOW) chapter. Her viral blog articles, "Five Powerful Ways Abusive Narcissists Get Inside Your Head," and "20 Diversion Tactics Highly Manipulative Narcissists, Sociopaths and Psychopaths Use To Silence You" have been shared worldwide and her work has been endorsed and shared by numerous clinical psychologists, mental health practitioners, bestselling authors, and award-winning bloggers.

6 Dark Traits of The Female Sociopath

 

Female sociopaths and narcissists are dangerous precisely because their manipulation operates underneath the radar. Although there is an ongoing debate about the definition of “sociopath” versus “narcissist,” it’s safe to say that both types exhibit the following:

  • A callous lack of empathy.
  • A tendency to manipulate and con others for their own gain.
  • A sense of egocentrism and excessive entitlement along with blatant disregard for the rights, needs and feelings of others.

Sociopaths and narcissists on the high end of the spectrum take it one step further. Those who meet the criteria for the Dark Triad (narcissism, psychopathy and Machiavellianism) often lack remorse for their destructive actions. They use cognitive empathy to assess their target’s vulnerabilities but they lack the affective empathy to truly care about the welfare of others. They are often sadistic in provoking and deceiving others, feeling pleasure at the sight of another’s pain. Studies show that these toxic types experience positive feelings when seeing sad faces (Wai & Tiliopoulos, 2012).

The reality of their malice becomes darker when we consider that females are socialized by our society to be covertly aggressive. As a result, they are more likely to bully others through underhanded methods such as relational aggression – abuse through sabotage of someone’s  social relationships and reputation – all while mastering the guise of a sweet exterior.

Here are six signs you are dealing with a female sociopath or narcissist on the high end of the spectrum:

READ ON PSYCH CENTRAL: 6 Dark Traits of The Female Sociopath

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Narcissism Page: Where You Can Find My Most Popular Articles On Narcissistic Abuse


Looking for an easier way to read about narcissism and narcissistic abuse? Check out Thought Catalog’s new Narcissism page, which features many of my most popular articles on this type of covert abuse. Be sure to share it with other survivors who might need this important information as well!

READ AND SHARE: All About Narcissism – The Red Flags and How To Heal

5 Things You Don’t Realize He’s Doing Because He’s A Narcissist

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A narcissist is not just someone who is vain or self-absorbed. True narcissists cause actual emotional harm to their friends, partners, family members, colleagues and loved ones due to their callous lack of empathy, excessive sense of entitlement and their unwillingness to change their abusive behavior.

True narcissists control you, manipulate you, coerce you, belittle you, isolate you and sabotage you. But first, they charm and ensnare you into their toxic web, presenting a false mask that bears little similarity to their true selves.

Although this article specifically refers to male narcissists, please note that female narcissists also exhibit these same behaviors.

Here are five things you don’t realize he is doing because he’s a narcissist.

READ THE ARTICLE HERE: 5 Things You Don’t Realize He’s Doing Because He’s A Narcissist

The Dollhouse: 5 Roles You Play In A Narcissist’s Harem or Love Cult

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Narcissists are fickle creatures; they love shiny objects and they love to replace them just as swiftly as they’ve obtained them. They pit people against one another, they manufacture love triangles to make people jealous and to cause people to compete for the narcissist’s attention and approval. They become easily distracted by new victims who can heighten their status, reputation and wealth.

In a narcissist’s eyes, all victims are replaceable and interchangeable, depending on what they can do for the narcissist. All victims are in a never-ending competition to prove their worth and value to the narcissist. They are dolls in a narcissist’s playhouse of horrors.

The “love cults” that narcissists build to stroke their egos aren’t actually exclusive to romantic relationships. They can exist in families, friendship circles, the workplace and various organizational hierarchies.

Love-bombing is a technique that cult leaders use to groom and indoctrinate their members; it consists of showering someone with constant attention and praise to get the cult’s own needs met. When members are sufficiently love-bombed and indoctrinated into the group, they are then expected to cater to the narcissist’s every desire in return.

Contrary to popular belief, the role you play in a narcissist’s harem isn’t always a fixed one. It can change and fluctuate based on how the narcissist perceives your usefulness and their needs.

Here are five roles you may play if you unwittingly become part of a narcissist’s harem.

READ THE ARTICLE: The Dollhouse: 5 Roles You Can Play In A Narcissist’s ‘Harem’ Or Love Cult