A narcissist is not just someone who is vain or self-absorbed. True narcissists cause actual emotional harm to their friends, partners, family members, colleagues and loved ones due to their callous lack of empathy, excessive sense of entitlement and their unwillingness to change their abusive behavior.
True narcissists control you, manipulate you, coerce you, belittle you, isolate you and sabotage you. But first, they charm and ensnare you into their toxic web, presenting a false mask that bears little similarity to their true selves.
Although this article specifically refers to male narcissists, please note that female narcissists also exhibit these same behaviors.
Here are five things you don’t realize he is doing because he’s a narcissist.
Narcissists are fickle creatures; they love shiny objects and they love to replace them just as swiftly as they’ve obtained them. They pit people against one another, they manufacture love triangles to make people jealous and to cause people to compete for the narcissist’s attention and approval. They become easily distracted by new victims who can heighten their status, reputation and wealth.
In a narcissist’s eyes, all victims are replaceable and interchangeable, depending on what they can do for the narcissist. All victims are in a never-ending competition to prove their worth and value to the narcissist. They are dolls in a narcissist’s playhouse of horrors.
The “love cults” that narcissists build to stroke their egos aren’t actually exclusive to romantic relationships. They can exist in families, friendship circles, the workplace and various organizational hierarchies.
Love-bombing is a technique that cult leaders use to groom and indoctrinate their members; it consists of showering someone with constant attention and praise to get the cult’s own needs met. When members are sufficiently love-bombed and indoctrinated into the group, they are then expected to cater to the narcissist’s every desire in return.
Contrary to popular belief, the role you play in a narcissist’s harem isn’t always a fixed one. It can change and fluctuate based on how the narcissist perceives your usefulness and their needs.
Here are five roles you may play if you unwittingly become part of a narcissist’s harem.
Narcissists and sociopaths are known for their pathological lying. They lie in order to deceive, to manipulate, and for their own benefit. They might also lie to gaslight someone and erode their sense of reality, causing their victims to feel off-balance. Unlike liars who lie to protect others or to preserve their self-image, chronic manipulators lie even when the situation does not warrant it because it gives them a sense of “duping delight” – the sadistic pleasure of being able to one-up and deceive someone successfully.
This has been an incredibly tough and triggering week, especially for those who struggle with mental health issues, suicidal ideation, self-harm or are mourning the loss of someone from suicide. With the tragic deaths of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain, we are reminded that these issues do not discriminate and that mental health is something that needs to be prioritized.
Unfortunately, there is still a great amount of emotional invalidation, stigma, misinformation, harmful stereotyping and shame surrounding the topic of suicide.
This includes the omission of discussing depression, abuse and complex trauma as factors which often play such important roles in tragedies like these. That’s why it’s so important to continue the conversation and to remind people that there is support out there, and people who do understand.
It’s important to talk about why suicide attempts and ideation occur. It’s important to de-stigmatize the suffering of those who may be shouldering their pain in silence. It’s important to be mindful of how we treat those who choose to share their struggles and to be mindful that not everyone may not be as open in coming forward or reaching out for help.
Here are five reasons why people attempt suicide and how we, as a society, can be more mindful of how we engage in this dialogue when someone does reach out.
This article contains sensitive or potentially triggering content related to suicide. If you are struggling with suicidal ideation, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255.
If you have a history of struggling with self-harm, suicidal ideation, chronic suicide attempts or extreme and overwhelming emotions, you may want to consider speaking to a counselor about Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). It just might save your life, especially if you were the victim of early childhood trauma or abuse.
I hope you learn to be enthralled by the sound of your own heartbeat. The one that reminds you that you are alive, that your life is meaningful, that you were divinely made, not meant to be mistreated. I hope you learn to fly rather than clinging to the people only interested in clipping your wings. I want you to be the powerful woman they never saw coming. Within you is a light that is brighter than the belittling words of those who are afraid of your potential. Within you is an entire universe, just waiting to be built.